THE FEMININE STRENGTH

They are figures with virtually all the curves, the artistic work that required a rib for its creation, and the most useful creation in the existence of mankind. They are weak, and their weakness projects their strength, and they exalt in their beauty for the other gender's admiration. These productive humans are called women, woven and knitted together as the spice needed by every generation.

A woman can be the relief a man seeks or the pain that aches him. Behind a woman that relieves the pain of a man are days of scars covered with makeover, times of tears shed within, perseverance that chokes, and selfless services that count. A woman that aches like pain could have been a product of ill treatment faced while growing up, and her decision could be a choice, but in all aspects, women are the pain bearers for the home.

If I may take you down a research lane, a woman's comfort is always tampered with, following the homely responsibilities hung around her. Her conception process is not always an easy ride, and the delivery route is often filled with different bumps.  The children are always her baggage to move around with, home keeping is her divine calling, and the assistance pulled through career of her choice contributes to the economy of the home. Women are super humans borne out of multi tasking hole, with or without assistance.

Sometimes, her partner in a relationship and marriage determines her commitment. She needs the real care to function well in her capacity, and this brought the idea of partnership in marriage. People say she loves money, no, she needs care and attention, she wishes to have her necessary items, and she supports whoever she determines to support, and her loyalty remains until her partner reverses his pledge which can however turn her to his worst nightmare.

HAPPINESS

Happiness can be imaginary, and can also appear like a reality. Sometimes people tend to derive happiness from material things, hobby, lovers, family, and whatever they believe in, but in most cases they get failed when these people step on their toes by twitching the existence of happiness built around them overtime.

Happiness is a powerful tool to living a life of fulfilment, and it shares the same room with joyfulness. A life devoid of happiness might not be able to fulfil an in depth call of his dream because of the distraction of unhappiness mounted like pressure. An unhappy soul dines with illness, and this drags the body to an untimely grave. Sometimes an unhappy soul drags his success down because of its appearance to his destiny helper. A smile can sometimes cover the pit, but when expression comes knocking, his words are enough to put a destiny helper in a racing car.

Life is beautiful, and happiness is embedded in a way that it comes from within even when the situation is not palatable. Happiness is a decision. A decision to turn deaf ears to evil energy, a decision to ride with your conscience so clean like a new slate, a decision to smile and mean the aura, and a decision to always stay happy no matter what life serves. Life will always bring on its challenges, but happiness has a way of bowing circumstances to favour us, because we think faster while depression bids us farewell.

LOVE LYRICS

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

We once had the love,
The love that did the bonding,
The love that made us united,
The love we used to break the Britain jinx.
The love we used to break the slavery,
The love we shared that gained access to inter-tribal marriage,
The love that made an Easterner a business man in the West.
The love that made the Westerner a sojourner in the North.
The love that made different people with multilingual differences to gain freedom into Independence in 1960.
That love has changed to hatred in the blink of an eye,

No ethnic group cares anymore,

Kidnapping, rituals, rivalry, killings, terrorism, victimization have replaced the love.
We want our young love back, the love so peaceful, calm and able to tolerate each ethnic differences.

©Dolapo Aruleba

AL QAEDA and ISIL, BOKO HARAM and HERDSMEN'S REGROUPING

ISIS ( Islamic State of  Iraq and Syria), also known as ISIL ( Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant), is said to be a Sunni Jihadist group with a heinous ideology that claimed to be a caliphate, and exercise religious authority over all muslim. This group is said to have been an ally of AL QAEDA before its fraction was declared.  ISIL is recorded to have been more successful than its fore runner. In the same vein, Bokoharam which is also a Jihadist militant sect which is based in the north eastern Nigeria, and also active in chad, Niger, and nothern Cameroon has also become a threat to some parts of their captured countries, and some herdsmen have recently been linked to be in alliance with the group.

Islam is a religion of peace, so I heard, and so I want to believe, but these dreaded groups which keep regrouping, rebranding, and recruiting all in the name of the religion stirred a great fright in me, and so my thoughts seem confusing. I pray thee, receive sense! I pray thee, wise up and see beyond the minute intention tied to your quest which can be consigned to oblivion for all I care. I waited for some seconds to ruminate over what could be the cause of terrorism, and I couldn't exhaust the list I thought about, but yet, some accurate delusive visionary quest which is second to none.  Religious, political, citizenry rights, vengeance, country supremacy quests and the likes are not worth the trade of lives and souls to dark worlds, I emphasize.

Threading the path of religious arrangement, I believe every supreme being is powerful to fight for himself, and a need for the believers to understand that a wasted effort is being channelled into assisting their God/god in fighting against people who flout the norm and belief of the religion. As much as politics is concerned, terrorism only makes the process difficult for those that once used terrorists to achieve their political status, hence a demand for ransom to free a state or country is demanded by those used. In cases where this is not achieved, the tentacle of terrorism has its wings spread all over such territory in exchange of failed promises by political juggernauts.

Citizenry rights can be achieved by peaceful protests and constructive dialogue,  but in a case where blood is shed to claim rights, it is a planned greed intention blindfolding the sect behind such rights claims.  Karma is the best revenge if you seek vengeance.  There is no reason a whole country or state has to suffer for what some group of people did wrong. In a quest for country supremacy, I have an opinion that no country is supreme in itself. In other words, a country cannot be supreme without the assistance of others. The joint effort of different countries make a country's vision achievable, so why terrorize?

I see terrorism as a personal quest of wickedness, and evil threat, as well as hooliganism in its advanced realm. Religion, political rifts and all other reasons are not enough to be destructive. If all you wait for Is a million wives reward that will be given to you by your supreme being, then you have set a standard of failure, because greed of sexual pleasure has overshadowed your right to empathize. For those under recruitment, I hope you are ready to kiss peace goodbye, because you have signed a life contract with restlessness. A life that terrorizes doesn't rest, and this brought me to a conclusion that terrorism is not of this world, but the under world's, because every sane human wants rest.

HOW DO I CELEBRATE MY CHRISTMAS? (Every Child Deserves a Christmas)

How do I celebrate my christmas? I am pretty sure so many answers are popping out of your mind. I think I can guess a few, with a big pot of jollofrice or friedrice, shredded chicken and salad, or with an all red wears and accessories, or a trip to an island or low land, or with lots of drinks or santa gifts, and with so many beautiful things of life to mention a few. All these things are so good, but I will share a story on how exactly one needs to celebrate a christmas.

About six years ago, my church youth members organised a visit to the orphanage, and most people that were present there were well bred people, but they never saw that like an avenue to ignore the less privileged, but a chance to extend love. I was like a spectator taking note of everything happening around as we got to the orphanage. I saw some children sharing their thoughts with some of my members, and there was this particular boy that insisted on going with a lady. He felt the love the lady shared to him. She carried the little boy and started asking questions; how are you doing? Have you eaten? What's your best colour?, amongst other questions. This little intimacy made the boy feel the love of a parent he never had, and he couldn't watch the lady leave.

This story above symbolises that anybody can be a parent to an orphan, so far you share true love to the orphan. All they need is someone that can care for them, and make them feel relevant, and I feel you can be that person. I think I have given you a clue on how to celebrate your christmas right? Yes! Every Child is a Star (ECIAS) foundation has brought to mind that every child deserves a christmas, and a need to share love to this set of people during this yuletide season is as important as sharing it with our children. They need to feel the festive mood, as well as see people outside their confined environment.

You can get engaged in this process by teaming up with NGOs around you, personal visit, or you can team up with Every Child is a Star(ECIAS) foundation, they will carry you along with details below. And I am sure you will have a beautiful christmas testimonies this 2018. ARE YOU READY!

#SMWLAGOS 2018, THROUGH THE EYES OF A CURIOUS ATTENDEE

When I first thought to write this opinion piece, it was with such a high spirit that i would have gone on my WhatsApp status asking if anyone was interested in reading my review on the recently concluded #smwlagos (Social Media Week Lagos), and some of the vital lessons business owners especially those who couldn’t attend the event could glean from it. I must have honestly hoped no one responded to my clarion call, unfortunately I received a torrent of interests from friends and acquaintances and therefore was bounded to keeping my word…..but just when my pen met her paper, it felt like my memory had gone on a quick recess. You’ve probably met that feeling of “who send me message biko”…lol. I guess I'd have thought what more can I say that you do not know already. But since I’ve committed myself to breaking out of my shell, my already cracked shell in 2018; coupled with an intense nudging from an amazing friend who wouldn’t let me stay any more in my comfort zone, and of course Remi Owadokun’s “it is #TooLateToBeNobody” haunting me, this article is materializing and indeed morphing to be a great blessing in disguise. It is my sincere hope that you find a reference point as you read this article, even implementing one or two things from it.

Lets back off a little....perhaps you’d like to know how I got to be a part of the #SMWLagos. I heard about #smwlagos in 2017 through a post on my Facebook timeline but couldn’t participate of it because of the short timing, nonetheless I made a mental note to attend the next one. At a strategy meeting my organization held in January this year, I was asked by my boss to take note of the upcoming #smwlagos2018, so that I could write an article on the program and how social media is bringing the world closer?!

And though I wasn’t told I could attend, it seemed like the universe was secretly on my payroll. I silently nursed the idea of attending even hoping my luck would get me a week off to fully attend the event, lofty wish you’d say, but I must have tipped the universe so well, so well you wouldn’t imagine the shock I had when my boss said that I, together with a colleague have been given the following week off for #smwlagos! OMG! I went numb from too much happiness speeding through my body system, something leaped within, and I must have strongly resisted the urge to punch my fist into the sky. I am super grateful for the opportunity, somehow I hope my boss gets to read this piece too for it wouldn’t have been possible if not for her kindness. So we registered online and also applied for a Paypal account (first business collaboration/strategy I noticed which I’ll talk about and the others as we progress in this series) and was given a Campus badge pass...and off we were to what would be an awesome time altogether.

Being a personal development enthusiast, I find myself attending different events that inspire, motivate and ignite me in more ways than one, but #smwlagos was really redefining, for in a period of 5 days I was greatly exposed to lots of Entrepreneurs, Thought Leaders and Industry giants with the options of choosing what mind blowing sessions to attend from the many on the ever interesting list. The people, the fashion, ambience and willingness to learn coupled with the great and upcoming, all meeting on a platform where there are no holds barred made the #smwlagos a noteworthy event that any entrepreneur or personal development enthusiast should attend. While learning hasn’t been a chore, it was absolutely fantastic to find people who were likeminded with me in different sessions all focused to become a better person.

WHILE YOUR PRESENCE AT THE #SMWLAGOS WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT, I BELIEVE YOU CAN LEARN ONE OR TWO THINGS BY ATTENDING THROUGH MY EYES, THE EYES OF A CURIOUS LEARNER…LOL
WATCH OUT FOR PART II

By: Adenike Bello

My Firewood, Your Matches, His Pot Of Soup

If I may ask, how many relationships have you engaged in before getting married, or now as you are still single? In a nutshell, how many exes are you able to record? One, two, or probably uncountable. In as much as this piece is not targeted to make us remember how many failures we have recorded over the years, it is essentially pointing towards a vital angle of general perception of life and certain things we should get abreast of as we journey through this lane of exposition.

So many times we move closer to a person based on their attractiveness which could be their outward appearances, and some cases where we are privileged to hear them converse, which can be regarded as their intelligence, or in rare cases where we are chanced to know how they behave which is graded as moral. However, people majorly venture into a relationship firstly because of the outward appearance and a need for the man to have the wherewithal to cater for the needs of the lady, and these make other attributes secondary in most cases, except for the preachers that have set moral as a major standard that cannot be excused in a relationship race.

As a man, I have engaged in different relationships which have been challenging, as well as profitable to my existence but in the end, some lucky men tapped in and I lost all. I deposited alot in a relationship, another man deposited his, but a man from no where ended up walking down the aisle with the woman. My firewood, your matches, cooked the soup, and unfortunately, a man owns the whole pot of soup. This is applicable to all gender, no gender is exceptional. Can I be tagged a fool after spending so much and not appreciated? I gladly say 'NO'! Lessons are meant to groom one in order to be aware of eminent dangers. LIFE TEACHES US TO TRUST PEOPLE, BUT NOT TO DEPEND ON THEM, BECAUSE HUMAN BEINGS ARE LIABLE TO CHANGES.

In every relationship, learn to care and cherish, but try as much as possible not to be immoral, and if it works, great! But if it doesn't, you have learned. Every trial is a step to achieving greater opportunity that leads to greater achievement, if properly used. SOON, IT WILL BE 'YOUR FIRE WOOD, HER MATCHES, AND MY OWN POT OF SOUP!' BECAUSE WE WILL ALL END UP GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE'S ADMIRER OR EX. REMEMBER IT MUSN'T BE JUST A POT OF SOUP THAT WON'T COMPLEMENT YOUR BOWL OF RICE OR GARRI.

HOW I RAISED A MONSTER

As a father and husband in some parts of Nigeria, there is always a craving for birthing a male child. This usually comes to play when the first child happens to be a female, and the pressure unconsciously arouse due to ego, self esteem, family and friends' expectations, heir to inheritance factor, and some other reasons.  The man of the house begins to consider some health factors that could have championed the female birth syndrome in him or his spouse. This consideration mostly gives birth to trying out other women in order to get a chance of male child conception, especially when the second child unfortunately turns out to be a female.

The part of some mother and father-in- laws often cause what is known as ravages of frustration on the woman, simply because they have a myopic view that she should be powerful enough to give the family a male child. Meanwhile, this is subjected to some scientific measures which have certain implications and outcomes, that have mostly to do with the posture of couples during sexual intercourse, the chromosomes carried by the two partners, and the times of exposure to sex. Many homes have been torn apart due to this overrated gender preference that most couples and in laws crave for, and this has little or many negative effects on the society in most cases.

Nevertheless, in some homes where they are 'lucky' to have a male or some male children, there use to be preferences in the assignment of duties. Have you ever seen a rule that says it is a taboo for a male child to know how to cook well, wash dishes, clean the house, especially the toilet and bathroom, but he can wash car and run financial errands in the home? I am yet to see one, and none has been passed to law. Most of our parents have deviated by raising their male children like monsters that should do little or nothing in the house simply because they are heirs and other younger and elder sisters should be answerable to their domestic needs.

This belief has however handicapped most bachelors. How? There is an inherent lazy nature in them, and this has caused most of them to depend on girlfriends for meals, and they have turned to victims of tin (canned) foods which can be cancerous most times, victims of canteen and restaurants foods which might jeopardise their health after so much exposure to such meals. This menace has contributed to reliance of male children on female children virtually in everything today. It has become a trend that a female child must work harder, hold a public office, and in most cases be career driven before they can meet a marriageable standard. There is now a role reversal in most homes as some men have forgotten that they are the original providers, while the women are meant to support. Some women have turned to an automated teller machine of their husbands as well as home keepers, without little or no form of appreciation but frustration in most cases.

In as much as we cannot rule out the position of the woman as a home keeper, she should also be loved for multi tasking, keeping of the home, and going out of her way to provide financially for the home. So many women that clamour for gender equality today are mostly victims of males heinous activities that made them independent one way or the other, and this is posing a threat in most homes as a wife feels she has equal rights as the man because she does what the man engages in financially.

This is not a feminism push, but a reminder to our parents that nothing stops us from raising our children to be caring and loving by teaching them every bit of domestic chores in order to make them have a sense of responsibility to others, as well as to inculcate good habit of assistance and the zeal to be hard working in all ramifications. An enthusiast believes that greater goals can be achieved by teaming up for better outcome. Our mothers should raise their children equally irrespective of the gender, because there is a notion that some over kept males maltreat and abuse women in most cases. LET US STOP RAISING MONSTERS WITH NO HUMAN FEELINGS!

How Some Nigerian Universities Derailed

You wonder why some universities are no more what they used to be in the 80s and 90s? A lot of water has passed under the bridge without filter, and this has caused a great damage which a dam has no where-withal to hold the influx. Whenever we look deep into the system, a thought that comes to mind is that the highest authority should have the enormous power to curtail the excesses in the university government, but the reverse is the case.

In recent times, most of the members of the authority are gunning after the unseen, like being heads of the confraternity, laying down sentimental rules for the acceptance of students, which originally should be based on merit, placing money above primary assignment, especially the ones that come with bribe,  appreciation of immoral dealings, which mostly come as scratching of backs to get high grades, and so on.

It is quiet embarrassing when your wards/children come back home with certain cultures imbibed from school, without any strict measure put in place by the authority to shun such indictment of modern day schooling. The system is majorly focused on the business aspect of the education sector, thereby ignoring whatever vices that may be attached. Most students have however resulted to lecturer-student relationship in order not to be an outcast in a class, eventhough it may come with certain price. Sentiment has eaten deep into the system that preference has set in while awarding scores, and has made it so difficult to spot those who merit the upper grades from those that are judged by sentiment.

The university system of the old had certain hiccups, but not as noticeable as the modern day system, where backlogs of students who ought to have graduated rest in a file till some dates the certificate would have been forgotten by the students affected.  The lecturers should think back to the past, if they were groomed the way they operate now, or it's a new norm to be celebrated.

Weighing our options,  should university system continue this way, dropouts will be uncountable, and most parents will prefer to use their hard earned money to set a business for their wards and children instead of pumping it into a system where the certificate will be useless, couple with the immorality that their children will be exposed to. Moreover, entrepreneurship is encouraged, and white collar jobs are scarcely available.  The authority in the universities should have a rethink if eventually they wouldn't be affected by this social menace that has brought about moral decadence to the system. This has however given students a wide space to practice the unthinkable we hear and see in recent days, and the security put in place is handicapped to succumb the pressure being mounted on the university system that has turned into a den of robbers, prostitutes, and cheats.

What Momma Never Taught Me...

In every home, there is always a place for tutors. The place of a mother as a great tutor cannot be replaced, but despite all the tutorials gotten from a little tiny beginning, there is one thing mother forgot to teach me. Right from birth, she taught me how to suckle on her breast, she pressed her nipple to my mouth for me to get the little drop of milk to quench my thirst. After four months, she cushioned the chair for me to learn how to sit by myself. I thought to myself, could she have been tired of carrying me to and from the house? No! She just wanted me to learn.

Her curiosity wouldn't end at that, but she continued to teach me how to crawl, and sometimes she forgot she was not a four legged creature, all in the name of teaching me how to start a beautiful beginning.  The furniture helped my happy feet to stand, and momma held my two hands to keep them walking. Fortunately! that little baby has started walking, courtesy, momma the tutor. She never stopped being a tutor, because her zeal to keep my head up high remained. She taught me my assignment to a stage i grew to inquire from colleagues and leacturers on how to deal with difficult tasks/assignment, and this added a feather to her cap because I am now a university graduate.

A kitchen they say, belongs to a woman, but this saying could not have been applicable to me if mother never taught me her cooking skills. I learnt how to do the boiling, frying, grilling,  and the whole kitchen magic from the ever relentless woman. She never underestimated the roles of moral and etiquette as she passed that down as well. How to clean up the gabbage, the sitting and dinning rooms, the kitchen, the scrubbing of the bathroom and toilet, and never to ignore, my personal room became my hobby. Above all, she created a personal altar where I learnt to make all my supplications and also to pray fervently.

Indeed momma has tried a great deal! But she never taught me something. This thing in question is something some primary school pupils have known even when their parents are boldly assure of their innocence.  And the thing is 'Love Making" which most people refer to as SEX. Have you ever wondered how your kids got to know how to have SEX without you teaching them? Have you ever been caught in bed with daddy in a compromising position by your kids? Or your usual habit of caressing and french kissing while your kid is standing must have given him/ her a clue? Have you ever thought that your maids must have been trying out something silly with your boy or girl? Or her teacher has not been keeping an eye on the pupils that they have tried something romantically new amongst themselves? Did you ever think that the next door neighbour coming as a friend has a mission? Maybe your kid is a victim of rape already? All these questions are advisable for parents to ask themselves, especially mothers.

Frankly speaking,  momma taught me so many things, but she never taught me how to have "SEX", so how did I know it? KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THE THINGS THEY SHOULDN'T KNOW UNTIL THE RIGHT TIME...IT'S AN ABUSE WHEN THEY GET EXPOSED TO IT BEFORE THE RIGHT TIME.

MY 2018 LOVER

It was last three years that I said goodbye to my exs, exactly December 2015. I made a promise to my brave mind that no ex will have an upper hand in my decision making, and this was determined because I wanted to entertain a new lover in 2016. Guess who the new lover could have been? You will get to know as we unravel certain things subsequently.

Who is a lover? A lover is said to be a person who likes or enjoys a particular thing, music, career, or any thing that catches the attention of such individual.  Love itself is a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something, especially a member of your family, friends, luxury, and so on. Sometimes we fall in love with strange things, and our folks get to ask why we love such things so deep. A friend told me; " I like clubbing, and when I get married, I intend to continue clubbing." I replied saying; " What is so enjoyable in clubbing?" I responded in that manner simply because clubbing never tickles my fancy, and I saw no reason anyone could have chosen to be its lover.

Are you part of the few people that have chosen enmity as a lover in 2018? The common say; ' There are some friendship bonds that will be broken in the new year. New Year, New Resolution. "  Let's deliberate on this as we commence 2018. There are bonds that should be naturally broken if they are not beneficial, especially when the pin is pointing towards a bad direction,  but some are meant to be kept when they are purposeful. Sometimes our ego drives us to a point of pride that we conclude on certain issues without verifying where those decisions might take us. A college boy aspiring to procure " The Beast Vehicle" has set an endless race before himself, and it might land him in a company that could vanish his life. Though it's his decision, but it could have an adverse effect on him if precaution is not taken.

As the year evolves, every organisation has penned down what it aspires to achieve in the year, what to let go, what to correct, and the evolution of new ideas to further increase the patronage of its goods or services. Unknowingly to some of the management of these organisations, some bad decisions have been made, and there is a price for every mistake made, either knowingly or unknowingly. And so, some decisions we have made towards 2018 could be against or at our advantage, hence a need to be more attentive to our inner mind, weigh the pros and cons, and see if the disadvantage over-rules the advantange inorder to avoid being slaves to our decision.

In 2015, I made a substantial decision to avoid exs, and to focus on 2016 with a new lover. A very special being, and whom I have benefited from in all spheres of life. The Lover is the Most High, and the Supreme Being. Often times, we feel spirituality is needed when dark powers are involved, but this is a wrong notion.  In tackling issues , dealing with co-workers, expending funds, choosing a life partner, procuring properties, choosing friends, getting a loan, going on adventure, and every step we intend taking. If God leads the way, you will never have to go through failures, and it will be easier to attain your goals with hardwork. Sometimes we feel successful without being spiritual, but when trials loom, we get outrightly knocked out.

Do we have an idea that Myles Munroe had plans for subsequent year before his death? Nelson Mandela would have loved to see more of Africa’s successes in subsequent years, and Obafemi Awolowo's decisions for a year after his death could have been massive, but all couldn’t wait to experience the actualization of their decisions. To a large extent, if our decisions to make so many things happen in 2018 have been made without God, all could be effort in futility, and a chase after a shadow.

DANGERS OF EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS

In a world filled with anxieties and uncertainties, most people have their heads bowed in some scandals that shouldn't have been linked to their personality, and this has made some homes inhabitable for either of the spouse, or both in a tougher case. Extramarital affair is regarded as sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her spouse. This is however rampant in today's marriages, and people occupying delicate positions in the society are not left out in the scandal.

Often times, men are always seen as the culprit, but it has gone beyond a man affair. Some women are fully involved in this without a second thought of the implications attached to it. Some of the reasons mostly attached to extramarital affairs as given by the victims are:

* Lack of love for their spouse

* Dissatisfaction in bed

* Lack of offspring

* social identification

* Vengeance

* Curiosity to try new things

* Financial crisis

* Getting along with a more adventurous    person

* Pursuit of career advancement, and the    list is endless.

 Some people argued that COVETOUSNESS and IMMATURITY are what lead most strayed couples to extramarital affairs, but this is debatable. In cases where we see religious leaders, executives at work, leaders of communities, states, countries romancing extramarital affair as a thing to be celebrated, it's a sign that no one is above the temptation of going beyond their marital limit. Achievements, position, and personality are vague when extramarital is mentioned, and this simply means, so many authorities have been caught in the act.

Regardless of the enormous reasons attached to extramarital affair, it's injurious to the emotion and health of those done against, and it is a menace that has the strength to jeopardize a society, because most homes have been shattered through the negligence of the perpetrators, and it has its hand on children affected. It could be lack of DISCPLINE, and unconsciously, it has side effects on their finances, emotions image, children, wives, husbands, jobs, career, and the society at large.

Extramarital affair is a form of getting pleasure in what our eyes see that lasts for a little period of time, but has adverse effect on the entirety of our lives. The vows made on the altar, at the registry, at your inlaws' house were not just rhymes, but some statements to be adhered to, and if broken has a lot to say about your personality.

How To Know If I Have Mouth Or Body Odor (Halitosis/ Bromhidrosis, Osmidrosis)

Often times, people living with halitosis and bromhidrosis ( mouth and body odor) as fondly called rarely know they are suffering from such conditions. They only notice that people put their faces off whenever they have one on one conversation with them, or they sit far from them while in a gathering. Most of these victims don't get aware because they help such people that keep their distance to attach excuses to their actions. Example; Maybe he saw something that caught his attention during our conversation,  or maybe he couldn't maintain eye contact.  In a case of a body odor victim, maybe the seat was not good enough, or he moved far to enjoy the comfort of the air conditioner. These and many more excuses are attached unconsciously by a victim.

In cases like this, the only truthful set of people are always the dentists and dermatologists. Do not be disappointed that your intimate friend or family members could be unhappy to tell you the truth, because they are often afraid to see you sad or afraid that your reaction might be unpleasant afterwards. Though some lucky ones have been told but due to self confidence in their level of hygiene, they debunk such truthful saying.

Bromhidrosis, osmidrosis or ozochrotia is a perceived smell our bodies can give when bacteria that live on the skin break down sweat into acid. According to research, sweat itself is almost odorless, but the interference of bacteria result in what we call body odor. Halitosis or bad breath is a perceived foul smell in the mouth which could be caused by the foods we eat and sometimes a sign of a chronic disease, or infection. Most times, oral, nasal and throat infection could tamper with the breath of victims, and same goes to body odor victims, diseases such as fungi and bacteria cause major chronic body offensive smell aside poor hygiene. Intakes such as garlic, coffee, cigarette and caffeine also go a long way in adding to a victim's predicament.

The safest prescriptive measure a victim of either of these two conditions should take is to see a dentist in the halitosis ( mouth odor) case, and visit a dermatologist in the bromhidrosis ( body odor) case. Everyone either bond or free should visit their hospitals often for check up, and we should make it a point of duty to politely tell the victims around us to visit their doctors. We cannot rule out the position of good personal hygiene. We should endeavour to brush twice daily, and avoid sugar gums and foods. A body odor victim should cultivate a habit of bathing everyday and after every rigorous exercise and also shave his or her pubic areas that could harbour germs, and wash their clothings very well (underwears and other body attachments). Antiperspirant and deodorant can help to manage the body smell, as well as plenty intake of water.

MOST CHALLENGES WE FACE CONCERNING OUR HEALTH, OUR AWARENESS/IGNORANCE DICTATE WHEN WE GET CURED OR HOW LONG THEY LINGER.

Ugly Men Desire Beautiful Women Too!

It always sounds so interesting when I listen to some qualities most men want to see in women. I have a feeling that women are so close to their screen anxious to read this little piece put together in the early hours of Tuesday, 7th November, 19:20 hours.

On a beautiful morning, I decided to embark on a journey from Lagos to Ekiti state, and fortunately I boarded a bus filled with relationship intellectual analysis tycoons. As we passed by RCCG camp a little, this unending relationship conversation started amongst three male friends that took the last seat. Though the bus made us a group, but I was a passive member who decided to  stay at her corner and listened to every bit of their conversation.

A man from the last seat was gutted about a post and retorted that he can't date a slim girl. He said; " I like fat girls because they can stand the test of sex without their legs shaking for hours". I smiled within me because I wondered why SEX is the major reason for his attraction to fat ladies. His friend didn't allow him to stop before he interfered, he said he likes slim ladies because they are better in bed and can be easily maneuvered. Hmmm! I sighed.

As those two kept dragging words with one another, the third friend dropped his own tip of the iceberg, " no woman can take it from a fair skinned lady". He prefers fair skinned ladies to dark skinned ladies.  An angry dark skinned lady gave a reply and said; " continue to follow people that sell fairness, whenever their cream finishes, you will know that black is beautiful". I laughed silently and my inner comment was; who will she defend if not ladies that have same complexion as hers. Come to think of it, only the fair skinned ones that bleach are mostly affected by cream inaccuracy in most cases.

The most deafening response just came from nowhere but from a passenger seated close to the bus driver.  He said and I quote; "I don't like ugly ladies o, I love beautiful ladies. If you're not beautiful, just don't come near me" Yes! Another blockbuster for ugly ladies. I sighed and I started ruminating over his comment, because I knew quite well those words came from a handsome man.

To calm the tension in the bus, an elderly woman intervened, she said; all facial qualities are good, but a woman with no moral has no good place. I looked at the woman, and sincerely, she's beautiful, so I knew sentiment of tucking morals in wasn't involved. The men started discussing about the moral aspect, but I was waiting for us to alight from the bus to see the handsome face of the man that detest ugly ladies so much.

When we got to Ekiti, I alighted immediately we got to the park and my first priority, I did. I looked into the man's face, but all I saw was a victim of pimples, a man I can't even describe his facial posture, but to keep staring. I was lucky that a cab man called my attention " aunty, drop" , that was when I woke up to reality. EVEN UGLY MEN DESIRE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! WHAT DO YOU DESIRE IN WOMEN?

No Free Lunch, Not Even in Freetown

#Dr JTF narrated his ordeal when he visited Freetown which is Sierra Leone's major urban, economic, financial, cultural, educational and political centre for the first time to discuss about Nigeria. He went with the notion that 'he who calls a meeting, lunch or a date picks up the bill', but unfortunately, his Freetown host whom they had the business lunch together showed him the fast rule of ' one man for himself'. They both paid for what was on their bill individually. Despite his gazes at the business man, he never felt compelled to pay for our dear Doctor, but he spelt out after the meeting when Dr JTF couldn't swallow his thoughts but to challenge him that; " Sorry Doctor that you had to learn it this way, but even though we are in Freetown, but there is no free lunch here. Everyone picks their bill when they go out for lunch whether on invitation or all alone".

In the business man's words, it was glaring he knew the attitude of Nigerians towards money. He made known to the Doctor that Nigerians are rich, and can afford to pay for lunch, breakfast or dinner for anyone, and the reverse is the case in Freetown, but I must oppose that most men in Nigeria these days are beginning to take a cue from the Freetown based on their approach to spending. A male friend once posted on his timeline on Facebook, he narrated how he had to make his girlfriend's friends pay for their orders, and how he was not apologetic about it.

Another encounter with a military man who said and I quote " Ladies do carry vex money in their pocket in case they get trashed by men". He asked me, " Am I right?" I nodded in agreement " Yes". Minutes after his statement, I stylishly checked my wallet if I had my ATM card in there before I get knocked out on the table. This is a lesson for any gender. Going out for lunch with a rich friend doesn't mean you should go out with your hands dangling, please have a backup cash! And to our ladies that are after freebies, we could be a victim of this one of these days, BECAUSE MEN HAVE STARTED DREAMING OF BIGGER THINGS THAN PAYING FOR UNINVITED GUESTS THAT STEAL THEIR MONEY AND ENDED UP NOT MAKING THEIR DATES WORTHWHILE.

MTN, GLO, 9mobile and any telecommunication company wouldn't give you "awoof" and not find a way to get back their tithe. A MAN WOULDN'T GIVE YOU A FREE RIDE AND NOT ASK FOR YOUR SERVICES " DIGIT", "FRIENDSHIP" or SOMETHING ELSE, SO, BE CAUTIOUS.

UNVEILING THE BOOK "EXITING YOUR RAT RACE"

An extract from "Exiting Your Rat Race"....

"You mean it's only these four people raising their hands that know this simple equation? I weep for you all. Everybody stand up now! If you know it sit down, if you don't, remain standing! You are in hot soup this afternoon. Everyone was shivering as Mrs Toriboabe ( the nickname she earned out of punishing students by ordering her victim to kneel down and then put his or her head in between her legs, so that there would be little or no resistance to the flogging) continued to pace up and down.

We were sure that she would flog us that day, fear could be clearly seen on the face of those who have experienced Mrs Toriboabe in the past. For once I regretted putting my chair and table in the front row because she would start the flogging from the front, but then, because I was so short in stature like the biblical Zachaeus, if i had put it at the back, our class teacher would have questioned me because I would not be able to see the chalkboard.  I dare not create a scene for questioning, my spoken English was worse than a chicken's scattering on the sand so the staff room was always a no-go area for us.

"NO MATTER HOW LONG WE CONTINUE TO ADVOCATE FOR ENTREPRENEURSHIP
, SOME PEOPLE ARE BENT ON PAID JOB, WEATHER THE TAKE HOME WOULD TAKE THEM HOME IS ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY."

I thought I had not heard well when Mrs Toriboabe said she would not flog us until Romoke took a sharp breath of relief. She feared being flogged than hell fire. Wouldn't it have been better if she flogged us? That would have been temporary pain but she decided to feed us words that would stick to us either as motivation or weight that would keep many of us down forever.  How I hate harsh abusive words, especially like hers which took the whole double periods. She was emotional about it, like Martin Luther King Jnr delivering his famous 'I have a dream speech'....."To get this famous book, contact these numbers;

AVAILABLE IN 

NIGERIA +234 803 630 6636, +234 814 116 1576

USA +1 973 905 9928, +410 689 5045

UAE +971 555 72 9886, +971 52 212 9853

BENT LIFE; POOR PEOPLE ARE UNFORTUNATE....

They are victims, I was a victim, and you could be a victim of the poverty syndrome that makes the poor dejected. Muhammad Yunus writes, "Poor people are bonsai people. There is nothing wrong in their seeds. Simply, society never gave them the base to grow on. All it needs to get the poor people out of poverty for us to create an enabling environment for them. Once the poor can unleash their energy and creativity, poverty will disappear very quickly." What Muhammad insinuates, is that the society is a supporting factor that oils the engine of poor people, thereby making them stagnant. 

Charles Barkley says "Poor people have been voting democrat for 50years... And they're still poor". This is extracted from the US electioneering, and it's glaring what Barkley asserts, that poor people sometimes lack discretion. They vote people that are not profitable to change their situation, and in the end, leading to their stagnancy. 

Laying credence to this fact, Mother Teresa explained in one of her notes, "I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God". She was of the opinion that, love and care are the tools to make the poor fit into the society, and that could be gotten with money when the rich needs them. She would do anything for the poor to recuperate, while the rich will spend to get cured.

E.M Foster says; "We are not concerned with the very poor. They are unthinkable, and only to be approached by the statistician or the poet". Here, the poor are forgotten, why? They are disgusting, a friend said. They are only remembered when the nation needs their statistics either to compare them to the rich, or for record purpose, but definitely not for economic reform to favour them. And the poet writes about them as inspired by him. This is one of the inspirations that turn a leaflet to the dark side of the world.

 

I say therefore, this life is Bent, that the poor on bended knees cannot afford a Bentley. They walk in dark alleys, subways, bus stations, pathways, under the bridge, beg and take shelter there. Why are they unfortunate? A social media expert says; their fore fathers are lazy, and the laziness brought about the unfortunate circumstance. Can we justify that saying? In my opinion, I believe they are the unfortunate sect that strive to make ends meet, do odd jobs, beg to put food on their table. I have the opinion that most fortunately rich people are not often hardworking, and a reason for the bend. 

Some people however categorise themselves as the average members of the society, but in a case where the economy is bent, they might be a victim of poverty. This is where discretion comes in. We are the product of our society. The leaders that govern us can mar or bless us, and this is an eye opener for an average citizen that is learned. If care is not taken, an average man could turn to a poor man overnight, and a rich man a beggar, so being poor is relative.

 

SHE'S MY BABY!!! YES, WE KNOW!!!

Oshodi was always a drama centre when my mum was selling there...no, not in a shop...by the road side. It coloured my entrepreneurship journey and made me street-wise. You can't rule out the drama that accompanied each day. It was a setting of unlettered women selling by the road side to support their husbands financially in order to help their kids through their tertiary education. That time, I was in school with two of my siblings. When my mum woke you at five in the morning...congratulation buddy! You have just won yourself a free ticket to see "ere-ori-itage" (stage drama).

If there's a  'customer', my mother would snatch my James Hadley Chase book and asked me to remove my hands from my pocket and convince the customer to buy her goods. She had to remind us always that we were not "butty" (affluent)  and should stop behaving as  one...but I can't let a course mate see me again after Simbi had seen me...but she couldn't tell anyone in class because I had once seen her too buying used clothes at gatankowa market. So it's 50-50.

This particular Saturday was drama filled. "Area boys" had come to collect their usual money. They asked,  "owo bukky da?" I was rebuking the devil tempting me to ask who bukky was because, if the huge guy with black lips and red eyes like hot charcoal in my grand dad's cherished local iron that burnt my "ileya" cloth and primary school uniform when I tried to iron them myself should hit me, "walahi" hospital would reject me.

My sister observed that I was going to be in trouble, she quickly gave them three hundred naira but she was too afraid to ask for fifty naira change. After they had left, she told me they meant booking fee, "owo booking". That was just a build up to the dramatic day...

A beautiful lady was pricing "Dustin powder" from "iya oyinbo" (the name she got after giving birth to albino two years earlier)...phew! The little girl she was backing just slipped and fell.
From nowhere, iya Ogbomoso just surfaced. Her face was a replica of Gbenga Adeboye's friend who fought lion in one of his comedy album.

 My brother was of the opinion that the person who made her tribal mark though was wicked but had a good handwriting because the lines were well drawn and neatly arranged. For me, the person should be on terrorist list, because eleven lines on each cheek was act of terrorism.

The lady was trying to pick her daughter but iya Ogbomoso stopped her. "She's my baby!" "Yes, we know!!!" The women replied. "If you're careless enough to let your baby slip from your back, you must face the consequences and what the situation demands to save your baby" iya Ogbomoso said.

"Naked yourself, start dancing round the baby seven times or else there would be problem for her when she gets married...she would be losing her husbands" the crowd started giving different versions of their beliefs. "I don't believe this! The beautiful lady managed to say as she cried. "It has nothing to do with your belief, 'alakowe'" said iya oyinbo.

The omo ibos, (as they call the Igbos in the area) started encouraging the lady to go nude, not because they believed in the superstition but because they wanted to see movie you can't see on AIT.

Dear friend, things get complicated when we refuse to cater for and guard jealously our brain-child. Some things we do kill our babies at conception or tender age. 'Its your baby! Yes, we know!'
You've got to birth the idea and nurture it. Don't mind the deafening and direction-less noise of the crowd. You've got to do what you need to do to save your brain-child. Follow the necessary steps...

*Think deeply and conceive the baby.

*Like a great mother, put things in place before the birth.

*The place of birth is not so important if you have vision and purpose. Remember that Jesus was birthed in a manger but He's world brand today. Henry Ford birthed and nurtured his brainchild at his father's garage. Facebook was abnormal baby when it was birthed in a college.

*Nurture your newborn. Get a good mentor to wash your baby thoroughly to avoid body odour in future.

*Guard it jealously from abnormal growth.

...just like twins, raising them is challenging but when they grow, you can point from afar to any of them and say to anyone with pride...that's my baby!

Written for Global Purpose Network

Odunmorayo Olalekan Matthew
Author of the new book EXITING YOUR RAT RACE
olalekanchams.oo@gmail.com

QUESTION FOR FAYOSE, FFK AND THE ACTING PRESIDENT

 I was on my way home from school when I saw a boy raining curse on a boy of his age but well built. People around were trying to prevent him from advancing toward the calm boy, but he was blinded by his anger and he threw punches at the two older people trying to restrain him. About half of the gathering shouted, 'let him go!'. Simultaneously, the people holding him released his arms and off he went towards the well composed opponent...You want to know what happened to him?
He was flattened by few punches that landed on his jaw...
I think Nnamdi Kanu is fast approaching that stage but I have no message for him before his sympathisers starts asking what concerns Yoruba with Biafra. I will rather ask our man with presidential ambition a simple question: PRESIDENT FAYOSE, IF A MAN CALLED NNAMDI KANU CONSTITUTED BIAFRA SECRET SERVICE WITHIN THE TERRITORY YOU ARE GOVERNING, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

In my opinion, Femi Fani-Kayode is more intelligent and more strategic, and should have a good answer: Dear sir, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF ODUDUWA YOU WERE AGITATING FOR?

TO THE ACTING PRESIDENT
Dear leader, when many Nigerians are at the brink of taking your party to abattoir to be sluttered, you are one of, if not the only one we look up-to to wave the magic wand. As a Senior Advocate, what would you call what Kanu, who was seven months old in his mother's womb when biafra war started in 1967, just did?
Becoming a doormat is not a sign of humility, it is a sign of weakness.
It is the day referendum is conducted that Kanu will know he has been betrayed. Just like the boy in the story was released, I wish Kanu is released to be given a sucker punch at referendum. No igbo wants him as leader. He lacks the qualities, only stubbornness like the one that killed Pharaoh.  

Odunmorayo Olalekan Matthew                 Author and Speech writer

THE STORY OF AB' ELEJA YAN ( THE MAGNET THAT ATTRACTS WASTAGE)

Ab' eleja yan is a particular tag used for a zealous person who goes into roasting a fish without the owner's consent and who at the end of the day do not get a reward for the selfless service. Ab'eleja yan is a word coined out of yoruba words mostly given to time wasters who will not subsequently be the owners of a particular thing, lover, job or anything related that they have toiled to get. 'EJA' in this context is fish and it could be a human being or thing. This tag is given to Waje because of the circumstance she found herself.

 When she was younger, she used to live like the world was free, NAIVE, INNOCENT and SINGLE MINDED, but when she took a step out of her comfort zone, she got trapped. She got intertwined in a love web which created a WELL SEASONED TRAUMA that hunts her to cover all her shame in her closet.

  

A peasant farmer is her father and a lover of a girl child indeed! All his effort to plant and harvest in due time was to meet up with the payment of his daughter's school fees. Lima toiled day and night to see Waje succeed, and also to travel round the world in search of GREENER PASTURE. Waje used to be a good girl who loves to work harder to get whatever thing she wanted, and this led to her career pursuit in the college.

According to the aesthetic design
and vision of life, as ONE GOES HIGHER, the MORE LIBERATED the PERSON BECOMES, and the TOUGHER the GAME BECOMES. Waje used to be a great personality she had been over the years while in school until she met a young boy who disguised like a saint. She was in her second year when the murmurs and whispers of love songs started approaching her ears. Cornell is a handsome boy with GREAT INTELLIGENCE in WOMANIZING and Waje wouldn't escape his trap.

Waje fell victim of his lies and deception after series of attempts to win her to his side. A year and few months after the duo had been together, Cornell broke up with Waje, and the agony started.  She started counting her loss, her WASTED TIME, EFFORT, INACTIVITY TOWARDS HER EDUCATION, AND ABOVE ALL, HER LOST VIRGINITY. After few months, she heard that Cornell has been hooked up with a rich man's daughter whom he will get married to after leaving the college. WAJE IS INDEED AN AB'ELEJA YAN!

Waje's story is just a fiction, but ab'eleja yan surely exists. At one stage or the other, we have been trapped by what we love to do, LOVING, WORKING, and OTHERS, BUT EVENTUALLY GET TRASHED OUT AND OVERRULED BY OTHER PEOPLE.  How can we avoid the tag 'Ab'eleja yan' ? The race of life is endless until death comes, and there is no definite way one can escape this at a point in time. If  you dont get tagged now, maybe later, because we have all invested in things that did not yield reward and some will still do too. WE WIN SOME, AND WE LOSE SOME...