Aspirations Have Finally Turned to Reality As Today's Leaders Forum Officially Starts Her Inaugural Meeting

The time when you need to step out is now,  act fast, move fast and mould it fast. Leadership is not the act of occupying a position of authority, but identifying the need to escalate the truism behind the push for excellence, and it is not always money driven or power juxtaposed affair.

Today marks the official commencement of the first inaugural meeting some youths across Nigeria championed in their own way to further eradicate corruption, build an environment for the better living of the citizens of Nigeria, bridge the gap between the haves, and the have not. The morale against this backdrop is heightening the democratic urge which people have craved for and also a need for every Nigerian to benefit in the wealth of the nation.

Today's leaders forum  meeting starts today in a grand style, and the outcome is aimed at equipping younger generations to be blameless and think of the masses instead of self.

According to the  national facilitator of the fora, Prince Michael Abuo in his words, and i quote "The name "Today’s Leaders" came up from the words “Tomorrow’s Leaders" as commonly used by everyone and most especially Nigeria's leaders (Youths are the leaders of tomorrow). Many youths see themselves to exist in tomorrow while they neglect today forgetting that the today they have now is the tomorrow once waited for.

No tomorrow can be great without good plans and action of today. We can not also expect to build great leaders tomorrow without opportunities/responsibilities today. No Nation can survive without her youths. We are the strength of our country and father land. Nigeria needs us! It’s time we act, participate and take lead of tomorrow. The destiny of our great country lies upon our shoulders. We refuse to be called "tomorrow’s leaders" rather we are "today’s leaders". FOR OUR TOMORROW IS NOW!

Therefore, this burning desire to be leaders of today was born out of a genuine desire of ensuring that we have a more united and prosperous Nigeria especially in the midst of very critical issues/elements seeking to tear our country apart(Boko Haram in the North, Biafra Agitators in the South East, the resurgence of militancy in the South South and ethnic clashes in the West, amidst other sociopolitical and economic challenges)and to also bridge the leadership vacuum/gap between our elders and the youths.

This forum therefore seek to be useful and contribute practically to the development/growth of our dear nation beyond rhetorics. The forum has her aim, vision and mission thus:

Aim: To contribute our quota toward the positive development of Nigeria

Vision: To see to a greater united and prosperous Nigeria

Mission: To build a formidable team of Nigerians comprising mostly of youths, to positively reshape the socio-cultural, socio-political and socio-economic potentials of Nigeria for Nigerians.

This forum by God's grace through sleepless nights and team efforts now have representatives across the six geopolitical zones in Nigeria and each state and the FCT. These teams are all driven by our common ideology as a forum and have made immense sacrifices too.

 However, (The decision to hold our inaugural meeting in Calabar is both spiritual and historical) on 28-30th January, 2016 for effective planning and preparation".

A stitch in time saves nine they say. In this vein, youths are not created to be a baggage for their parents. Their impact must be felt while alive and their youthful strength is needed for nation building.

Africans Must Go! Donald Trump; A Tyrant Or An Egalitarian In The Making

A tyrant is a ruler who governs unjustly, cruelly or harshly,  while an egalitarian is one who accepts or promotes social equality and equal rights for the people. Let's take a vivid view on the hate campaign speeches against Africans, especially Nigerians by Donald Trump, a presidential front runner in the United States of America.

Trump purported speeches during his campaign at Wichita Kansas city against Africans, especially Nigerians have declared the intention of the aspirant when he is declared the winner of the election. He emphasized the need to get the Africans out, especially the Nigerians because they are everywhere. He made known the reason why Nigerians don't stay in their country as the act of the corrupt government. Trump accused Nigerians of taking up the American's jobs, and also stated that a wall will be built at the Atlantic shore against Africans.

If Trump emerges the winner of the 2016 presidential election,  all Africans in the
United States of America should be ready to complete their studies in their countries or other countries. Investors and the genius over there should be ready to invest in their own country. Africans, especially Nigerians should be ready to loose their jobs and become applicants in their countries or other countries. Americans are hereby implored to take up their odd jobs which Africans are engaged in. If Africans leave,  then American investors such as MTN, P&G and others should be ready to quit African countries. I know you are wondering how to survive the change. Africans will always make do with their locally made products. GLO is still alive as a telecommunication outfit, and other diapers are always available. It would be a time for the said corrupt leaders to build their refineries and invest more in their agricultural products.

The question remains;  'Will racism be finally erased?'. Trump speeches must have created a lump of thoughts in the mind of some Americans, by illuminating a wrong impression of Africans in their sight. An egalitarian looks forward to create more where it is less,  fostering unity and peace, and seeks how the little will go round and how everyone will have equal right irrespective of the colour, race, gender, age, religion, status and social class.

Building a wall at the Atlantic shore wouldn't solve Americans problem. Imagine a world off the Africans, it's more like keeping the genius in the prison while chiosk takes over the city. The talents that
were selectively picked despite the racism, and the horrible selection would be relieved of their duties to be taken over by some citizens that couldn't fit into the positions outrightly. No sane American would pick a Nigerian that is a moron over an American that is a genius to work for him. It simply means that the reverse is the case, a case where the American is the moron, and the African is a genius, and that is the reason behind the Africans taking your jobs. The less privileged Africans are often the ones taking up the odd jobs and they get paid for what some Americans detest.

The irony in this context is that;  the said corrupt leaders invest more in the economy of USA, and if the Atlantic shore is built against them, then Nigeria's economy will boom, only if the corrupt leaders don't think of diverting the funds to another country. The rhymes of Trump is a warning, one day the Americans will eject the Africans out of their country, and most will turn to wanderers. A word is enough for the fool that seems to be corrupt now and forgot that his children in America will live to be deported in his lifetime and investment will go down the drain. A wise one will begin to invest in his own economy, the said corrupt government will build her refineries, invest more in agriculture, and stop building estates that they cannot lift to their father land in America. Trump has made his intentions known to the Africans, if he emerges the winner, only the fool will be caught unaware.

Chastity, a Traditional Style Overtaken By Modernity

It is called chastity, it is an act, a choice, a state of abstaining from sexual intercourse before or outside marriage, the quality of being moral, a behavior of a man or woman that is acceptable to the moral standards and rules of their religion, culture or civilization and above all, it denotes purity.

 Traditionally,  every parent always has this fear of exposing their children to sexual lifestyle, and this has to do with the upbringing of each family on earth. Our forefathers were affected through their religion, christianity, Islamic, Buddhism, or any traditional religion they were associated with. Their culture; some cultural background must see blood stain on the wedding night of a couple, a sign that the groom is the real man behind the hymen puncture . Unfortunately, detecting a man that remained a virgin till his wedding night has been a mystery that no one can unravel, except if some scientists have created a machine for such detection.

Nevertheless, chastity is gradually getting buried in the grave with the initiators, our fore fathers. Civilization has held it ransom, and we seek how to rescue it from the cancerous socialization of man that has eaten our pure lives deep, and leaving us with crumbs. The strong at heart and the few that have not been taken hostage by the wild sect of sexuality are the ones enjoying the dividend of chastity.

I have seen ladies and men that ended up being singles all their lives because they never valued the word chastity. Some would not be opportuned to get married to their ex boy or girlfriend's friend, because while they were dating exs, the word chastity was immorality. In the quest, series of sexual activities had happened, love was sex, studying was majorly on the bed, and immorality took over, but it all went down the hill. People in such shoes are no more advantageous to marry their ex's friend that are genuinely in love with them, except in rare cases because a mark has been put upon such victim. I heard this from a friend "I dated his friend once,  but we never had sex. I am married to my husband, and he trusts me so much" she added that; if a woman has never had a record of sexual immorality, then she can get married to any interested man of her choice". But in a case where he or she has been engaged in sexual activities with lovers,  she has little or no advantage of getting the man of his or her choice that is related to her former partners.

Chastity can be very difficult to practice, but the truth is that,  true love is not based on sex. Sometimes men are categorised as sexual animals, but a man that has not attempted it would not know how fun it could be,  so why not abstain till the time it will be legal and worthy of regular practice. The partial removal of chastity from the society has been categorised as modernity/civilization. A man says; "I can never marry a virgin". Men that can never marry or date a virgin are often scared of bigger commitment. Having a woman's hymen attracts blood in most cases and most people believe in the spiritual covenant of it. Most men that say those words are often scared of curses, and acts of women when infidelity comes in. A man that cannot marry a virgin seemingly cannot be faithful, so to avoid all the consequences,  they go for the regular ones.

The reality is that; everyone needs to be protected from one thing or the other. We need to be protected from diseases, from spiritual consequences,  from the trust betrayal of those that see us as their mirrors and to preach the better side for the generation to come. Sexual sin has over taken the world and through this; abortions will be on the increase,  diseases will ravage, betrayal will be at its peak, women will reach menopause in their early stage, low sperm count will be high, and   mortality rate will continue to thrive.

It cannot keep rolling on because chastity has been one of the things that keep the society in order. Those that have fallen should stand,  and those that are yet to fall should keep fighting on. It's a mark of self preservation and self love. Love your body enough to care for it, because those that failed to care for it are lovers of other's
interest, and haters of their well being.

The Devil Has No Good Plan For You; Suicide Is Not An Option

This is what the devil wants you to do when things seem to be stagnant; he wants you to think, go to the extreme of doubting the existence of God, feel that the whole world is turning its back against you, feel that you can never survive the trial, feel depressed and commit suicide.

I was at a salon at a time while some polytechnic ladies walked in with a bad news. Gossip some say it's a girl's thing especially when they get to some gatherings where it is unavoidable. A lady said something happened down the road, a young boy committed suicide by hanging himself in his room. I and the hair maker shouted 'what!', because we were the ones that just heard the news. The hair maker asked for the reason behind the suicide mission,  and the tallest amongst the ladies responded that the boy was in his final year,  and he heard that he had to carry a course over, so he was left with no choice than to end his life before time.

I was angry and I thought to myself that why would one give up at the prime time. At that stage of my thought,  another lady added that the boy was from a poor home and he wasn't mingling with people so he had no one to share his experience with. I got furious again and said to the ladies that if he was mingling with his neighbours,  they would have been his messiah. The boy committed suicide and for three days no one came to check on him till a smelly odour was perceived in the neighborhood which led them to his door. The neighbours had to break their way in to gain entrance to the room where they saw the decaying body of the boy said one of the ladies.

 I said again to myself ; this boy would have probably been saved if he mingles with his neighbours and one of them could have been his confidant or a saver walking in before he gave up the ghost. I felt the boy had some burden he was carrying before the advent of the course he was meant to carry over. The boy felt the end had come so there was no need to live.

He listened to the whispers of the devil, and he fell at his feet. He forgot that God is forever faithful. The trial was meant to make him strong, but he chose death as the option instead of him to fight through the struggle. He has made the devil to rejoice over him, and no remedy after his death. Suicide is not the answer to our problems, fighting on is the remedy to conquer any canker worm that aims to eat deep into any area of our lives.

Reasons Behind The Proposal Shift

Sometimes some single ladies go through severe headache because that man has not yet proposed. He will never propose if all these continue to happen;

***When men enjoy sex in a relationship; they see it as a normal thing, and nothing is new about the lady that calls herself a girlfriend. The lady can wait for all they care,  and if she wants to be so unfortunate, the man may feel getting a new replacement will be better for a wife whenever he is ready. Don't let a man turn you to sex machine and dump you afterwards.

***You are not yet his cook; The feeling that he is a bachelor is better for him, so in that way, he feels hastened to do the right thing. Some women will go to the market,  buy food stuff, groceries, and other things for a man that is not sure of taking them home. The more you do that,  the more he wouldn't get tired of being a bachelor because you have offered him what he would have craved for in marriage.

***Don't do his laundry for him: Let him go out there dirty and the response of his co workers will be 'hey man, you need a woman to put you through all these'.I think that is a good reason to put him on his toes to do the right thing.

***Don't be at his beck and call: It doesn't mean that you are disrespectful, but it means you have other appointments to catch up with. When he sees how engaged you are, trying to sort out your successful story, then he will always be scared to loose you to men of great calibre.

***Don't always cry whenever he gets
angry at you; Sometimes you need to hold that tears till he's out. That will make him see you as a strong woman.

***Don't let him tongue lash you: The moment a woman is silent when a man says bad things about her family, she has taken herself for a ride. The moment she stands and watch a man disrespect her by calling her names, her value has decreased, and such lady has a low proposal worth in the mind of the man. Learn to always hold your self esteem.

***A woman beater: If a woman beater proposes to you please run!  Once he had the opportunity to batter you once, then the second time would be a choice and the third time will turn it to his hobby. Men like that hardly propose to the woman they have beaten mercilessly, even if they propose and such woman accepts the proposal, she definitely accepted her death sentence.

***A man that invests in liquor, weeds and alcohol; Men that are into these are not likely to propose in time because they often find satisfaction in drinking and smoking.

***A man that doesn't love his mother; A man that hates his mother can barely love a woman let alone propose to get married to her. He doesn't see any reason why marriage is necessary when he often finds fault in his mother.

***Don't seem desperate;  Whenever some men sees desperation written clearly on a lady's face,  he thinks about so many things. He thinks maybe she's a gold digger, trying to run away from her past, craving for marriage for the whole wedding ceremony, selfish and so on.

***If a man is bi sexual; A man that is bi sexual will be held up by his gay partner. He can never propose on time, but will always look for flimsy excuses to cover up.

***A player;  Have you ever seen a player taking responsibility?  He will always look for fun in every relationship he finds himself. He is never ready until he changes the tag.

***Finance: Some men are not yet confident about how much they worth in taking care of a home. They always have the feeling that they are not there yet, while some want to achieve all the wealth before they say 'will you marry me'

***Some men are not mentally ready: A man that is not mentally ready for a marriage will never be sure of when to propose. He will always feel the whole marriage drama is too huge a task for him.

***Family and friends; When a man has to fight his feelings with the decision of his family and friends, he will definitely prolong the proposal date. A case where a man's parents or friends do not like a lady, then the lady needs to learn to wait or take a step out.

***A man that doesn't love a woman will not only delay proposal,  he may end up breaking up with the woman because he doesn't feel satisfied with her.

Every woman should always be herself, and shouldn't consider changing her lifestyle to suit a man's, except if the lifestyle is a bad one, and then there is a need to change. Let him long to see you and not the other way round. Once a man stops longing to see you,  then his proposal ring is kept for another woman. Don't turn to a slave for a man to keep the respect, and always know your limit.

Royal Rumble; Mavin Versus YBNL; Competition Versus Fame

When I was much younger in the early 1990s, my first idea of royal rumble was the wrestlers coming to the ring to fight. That was when I came in contact with those two words until recently that it came to mind when I heard about the tussle between two musical teams.

The activity or condition of striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others is known as competition. This is associated with rivalry, contention, fight, war, jealousy and in another case it strengthens morale.  In the process of competing, one also aims at success and fame if opportunity shines on the competitor.

Taking a keen look at the scenario that launched the rift between two artistes, on social media, it is glaring that team Mavin and team YBNL were into competition despite the fact that they have had some relationship in the music industry. The two parties cannot shy away from it, because the headies award made the whole picture well seen as YBNL showed its annoyance over the winner of the next rated artiste category award that was fortunately presented to a member of the Mavin's crew, Reekado Banks.  

The headies was established in 2006 with the title; hip hop world awards, presented by hip hop world magazine and HipTv stands as the network in the broadcast world. Headies main aim is to recognize the outstanding performances of Nigerian artistes and so many of the artistes have merited some award categories. To mention a few,  Phyno, Tuface, Don jazzy, Tiwa Savage, Wizkid, Olamide and a host of other artistes have gone home with one or some awards. It however shows that every nominee expects the award no matter the timber and calibre you belong to because it places more value and fame on such artiste.

In picking the winner amongst the nominees in each category, certain things are involved including votes of fans. However, competition shouldn't be a do or die affair, and it shouldn't show the weak version of us as public figures. The two parties showed their anger, and it both turned the other way for them and their fans. Their integrity was at stake and the fans of the two groups flooded the social media with different takes, gossips, comments and suggestions.

We are all in one competition or the other, either little or big contest and our attitude at the competitive stage shows how strong our emotions and personality are as public figures or heads in any position we find ourselves. Whenever one is placed in certain position, integrity, name, position, fans, associates are at stake because they made you, and ruling against them in an inappropriate manner will decrease the love towards such figure.

The fuel that filled the tank of apology of the YBNL group must have been well refined without the mixture of other liquid. The fuel knows that whatever is worth protecting is worth it in winning other competitive roles and positions. No matter how cheated we feel after every competition (nomination), we should endeavour to channel our complain in the right manner and to the appropriate quarters. Here is an informal apology words coined from Olamide Adedeji's instagram page....

PLEASE CHANGE

On the 1st of January 2016, i was in haste to visit a family, yeah, because it was the first day of the year. I rushed towards the door, but I couldn't knock because the door was widely opened. I barely walked my way into the sitting room trying to avoid the pieces of broken glass cup shattered on the floor.

As I entered the sitting room, I sighted a woman sited on the floor with head bent sobbing. Her hair looked scattered, but I couldn't view the overall look at that glance. I braced myself up to say 'hi' to the sobbing woman, the head that was raised looked like a bag that had been punched to shreds. The recognition was deem, the look was scary, but softly i said "what a pity, Mrs Julius has been battered again".

She stood up and walked to hug me, and now I had the opportunity to see the whole figure. Her cloth was torn,  and she limped before getting over to my side. I sat her down,  and asked if Mr Julius was at it again and she replied; He can never change.

My take....Mrs Julius, we all know that your husband drinks alcohol, and he gets drunk, but this is a new year, he ought to have changed or given you the privilege of the first day of the year. I doubted my words and I said further....He can only change when he wishes and feels convinced to change,  but he will never change because 2016 is a new year, he will never change because it is festive season, he will never change because he has a change of meal.

A man or woman you wedded is in the marriage with the idea that you can tolerate the ills of one another. Mrs Julius once told me that during her courtship with her husband, he was always drinking and he had slapped her face for not picking her call on time. I told her that Mr Julius tested her and she passed the test by not walking away or retaliating. He assumed she can bare his anger and his way of life.

Mrs Julius is a good worshipper,  a pleasant woman that is tired of her husband's way of life, because she suddenly forgot that she tolerated his wrongs with the aim of correcting him, but unfortunately he has not gotten the conviction to change. I repeat, the new year won't make him change,  but he will change when he is convinced.

To every man and woman in marriage or outside marriage, marriage doesn't change people, but individual is often convinced by whatever reason they hold as a prompter. Indeed it is 2016, all activities should improve,  except for the bad ones.

Are you a replica of Mr Julius? Maybe you will be convinced through my words and the notification that your creator has extended your life for repentance. When love becomes sour, then what is the meaning of the bond? Please Mr Julius change for the woman that believes in the new year. Change for the foetus in your wife's womb that you keep punching out. Rest and let the sleeping on the dumping ground stop. Change from a drunkard to a cool headed man, change because you need a child, change because Mrs Julius loves you, change because you want to be a good husband and a good father in few months. Change because your creator never designed you to be ridiculed, and remember that your wife is a weaker vessel to be treated like your rib, your helper and not your enemy. Even if you don't respect the new year, change because you need the change to give you a change.