It was love at first sight some people assume if the romantic chemistry erupts like volcano, and then a mistake if it never worked out. The story of love can not be told from a less hollowed point of view, but the assessment of some relationships could nip in the bud some eye openers to knowing how a relationship is meant to be handled.
A little story before we tackle some issues will not bore us, so we take this; I met a friend and we got talking so we chose to meet one on one which we eventually did. Three days after we met, he started clamouring for sex, he wanted this as if it was meant to be a quickie, but something struck my mind, that if we eventually make that happen, then something might go wrong. I decided to turn deaf ears to him, and only to see a nice man acting like a devil in the wind. It was as if the hatred came and the little likeness we shared disappeared in the thin air.
Love is not a product of infatuation, not a process that can be accelerated, because it takes time to stand. You cannot profess love to someone you barely know, because in doing such, the relationship could end in pieces. You can only like or get infatuated to someone at first, but as time passes by, love takes its stand and it goes on and on. Remember, love doesn't give up easily. Before love takes its root, communication must have taken its place through friendship. Learning and knowing more about people you are attracted to make it more interesting as you discover new things about them which can trip you off or turn you on. A relationship that starts with sex cannot be guaranteed because some men have sex with prostitutes without loving them. In actual sense, men can have sex with ladies they don't love and keep away from those they love. So erase the content that seeing the colour of your panties will make him lead you to the altar.
You can only get bothered in your relationship because it might not work out if some steps are not taken. You can never apply your makeover before having your bath, and you can never put on your dress or suit before your underwear. So many people run down streams of tears after a broken relationship without checking where they missed it and the mistake continues over and over. The scratch is important than any other thing built on it, so your foundation matters. After a break up, some people often find it difficult to start over and this has made insecurity to gain prominence in the society today as love is professed but not meant. You can definitely start all over again, a new life with a new approach. Here are some quick grabs to take into cognizance :
Say goodbye to your pains and worries:
Worries can not change anything, so why invest your time in fruitless effort, a seed that cannot germinate anything but hatred and sickness. Try as much as possible to embrace yourself by loving yourself through identifying reasonable and productive things that can pull you out of the mess of worries. Go for events, read motivational books, visit the less privileged, and be happy.
Do not attribute your failure to anyone:
Assume that no one caused your breakup, not even you or your ex, because doing this breeds bitterness and anger. Just let go and stay focused in your new life.
If you compare yourself to others, then your value will diminish:
No relationship is perfect. Just because you don't know how they deal with their imperfections doesn't mean they don't have dirty linen. Stop comparing your life with some people and mould yours in a better way.
Open your mind and head at thesame time:
If you open your mind, better offers will come, and if you open your head, ideas to manage your relationship will keep coming. Always attend relationship counselling classes, read books that can make you productive and stop assuming that things will work out as you wish without extra effort. Explore by knowing the characteristics of your suitors to enable you pick the best. Do not be in a rush to conclude or enter into a relationship.
You need to check yourself :
We all need grooming, except if we don't want a change in our lifestyle and if you can't change your ugly old ways, then don't yearn for a better man or woman. Look deep within, and check if you're the saucy type, the snub, the dirty, the scattered, the talkative, the lazy, the gossip, the unfriendly and all in such category. You don't have to earn much to dress well, you can make do with the little you have intelligently. Check your company of friends if they promote or drag you behind, and glaringly the former is better than the latter.
Love details cannot be exhausted because it is a study that needs a research on its own, and new social trend has made it more difficult to know those that are truly in love and those with preying eyes looking for the vulnerable and this is why both men and women have to be ready emotionally for anything that comes knocking. Being in love is not enough, but getting mature in the spirit can help, that ability to stand when it's stormy and the sense of communication that can change a hardened mind.
That's a clinical message. A friend who works at psychiatric hospital said love related issues made many of their patients run mad. Thanks Dolly for moving people forward from their past.
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