What Momma Never Taught Me...

In every home, there is always a place for tutors. The place of a mother as a great tutor cannot be replaced, but despite all the tutorials gotten from a little tiny beginning, there is one thing mother forgot to teach me. Right from birth, she taught me how to suckle on her breast, she pressed her nipple to my mouth for me to get the little drop of milk to quench my thirst. After four months, she cushioned the chair for me to learn how to sit by myself. I thought to myself, could she have been tired of carrying me to and from the house? No! She just wanted me to learn.

Her curiosity wouldn't end at that, but she continued to teach me how to crawl, and sometimes she forgot she was not a four legged creature, all in the name of teaching me how to start a beautiful beginning.  The furniture helped my happy feet to stand, and momma held my two hands to keep them walking. Fortunately! that little baby has started walking, courtesy, momma the tutor. She never stopped being a tutor, because her zeal to keep my head up high remained. She taught me my assignment to a stage i grew to inquire from colleagues and leacturers on how to deal with difficult tasks/assignment, and this added a feather to her cap because I am now a university graduate.

A kitchen they say, belongs to a woman, but this saying could not have been applicable to me if mother never taught me her cooking skills. I learnt how to do the boiling, frying, grilling,  and the whole kitchen magic from the ever relentless woman. She never underestimated the roles of moral and etiquette as she passed that down as well. How to clean up the gabbage, the sitting and dinning rooms, the kitchen, the scrubbing of the bathroom and toilet, and never to ignore, my personal room became my hobby. Above all, she created a personal altar where I learnt to make all my supplications and also to pray fervently.

Indeed momma has tried a great deal! But she never taught me something. This thing in question is something some primary school pupils have known even when their parents are boldly assure of their innocence.  And the thing is 'Love Making" which most people refer to as SEX. Have you ever wondered how your kids got to know how to have SEX without you teaching them? Have you ever been caught in bed with daddy in a compromising position by your kids? Or your usual habit of caressing and french kissing while your kid is standing must have given him/ her a clue? Have you ever thought that your maids must have been trying out something silly with your boy or girl? Or her teacher has not been keeping an eye on the pupils that they have tried something romantically new amongst themselves? Did you ever think that the next door neighbour coming as a friend has a mission? Maybe your kid is a victim of rape already? All these questions are advisable for parents to ask themselves, especially mothers.

Frankly speaking,  momma taught me so many things, but she never taught me how to have "SEX", so how did I know it? KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THE THINGS THEY SHOULDN'T KNOW UNTIL THE RIGHT TIME...IT'S AN ABUSE WHEN THEY GET EXPOSED TO IT BEFORE THE RIGHT TIME.

MY 2018 LOVER

It was last three years that I said goodbye to my exs, exactly December 2015. I made a promise to my brave mind that no ex will have an upper hand in my decision making, and this was determined because I wanted to entertain a new lover in 2016. Guess who the new lover could have been? You will get to know as we unravel certain things subsequently.

Who is a lover? A lover is said to be a person who likes or enjoys a particular thing, music, career, or any thing that catches the attention of such individual.  Love itself is a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something, especially a member of your family, friends, luxury, and so on. Sometimes we fall in love with strange things, and our folks get to ask why we love such things so deep. A friend told me; " I like clubbing, and when I get married, I intend to continue clubbing." I replied saying; " What is so enjoyable in clubbing?" I responded in that manner simply because clubbing never tickles my fancy, and I saw no reason anyone could have chosen to be its lover.

Are you part of the few people that have chosen enmity as a lover in 2018? The common say; ' There are some friendship bonds that will be broken in the new year. New Year, New Resolution. "  Let's deliberate on this as we commence 2018. There are bonds that should be naturally broken if they are not beneficial, especially when the pin is pointing towards a bad direction,  but some are meant to be kept when they are purposeful. Sometimes our ego drives us to a point of pride that we conclude on certain issues without verifying where those decisions might take us. A college boy aspiring to procure " The Beast Vehicle" has set an endless race before himself, and it might land him in a company that could vanish his life. Though it's his decision, but it could have an adverse effect on him if precaution is not taken.

As the year evolves, every organisation has penned down what it aspires to achieve in the year, what to let go, what to correct, and the evolution of new ideas to further increase the patronage of its goods or services. Unknowingly to some of the management of these organisations, some bad decisions have been made, and there is a price for every mistake made, either knowingly or unknowingly. And so, some decisions we have made towards 2018 could be against or at our advantage, hence a need to be more attentive to our inner mind, weigh the pros and cons, and see if the disadvantage over-rules the advantange inorder to avoid being slaves to our decision.

In 2015, I made a substantial decision to avoid exs, and to focus on 2016 with a new lover. A very special being, and whom I have benefited from in all spheres of life. The Lover is the Most High, and the Supreme Being. Often times, we feel spirituality is needed when dark powers are involved, but this is a wrong notion.  In tackling issues , dealing with co-workers, expending funds, choosing a life partner, procuring properties, choosing friends, getting a loan, going on adventure, and every step we intend taking. If God leads the way, you will never have to go through failures, and it will be easier to attain your goals with hardwork. Sometimes we feel successful without being spiritual, but when trials loom, we get outrightly knocked out.

Do we have an idea that Myles Munroe had plans for subsequent year before his death? Nelson Mandela would have loved to see more of Africa’s successes in subsequent years, and Obafemi Awolowo's decisions for a year after his death could have been massive, but all couldn’t wait to experience the actualization of their decisions. To a large extent, if our decisions to make so many things happen in 2018 have been made without God, all could be effort in futility, and a chase after a shadow.

DANGERS OF EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS

In a world filled with anxieties and uncertainties, most people have their heads bowed in some scandals that shouldn't have been linked to their personality, and this has made some homes inhabitable for either of the spouse, or both in a tougher case. Extramarital affair is regarded as sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her spouse. This is however rampant in today's marriages, and people occupying delicate positions in the society are not left out in the scandal.

Often times, men are always seen as the culprit, but it has gone beyond a man affair. Some women are fully involved in this without a second thought of the implications attached to it. Some of the reasons mostly attached to extramarital affairs as given by the victims are:

* Lack of love for their spouse

* Dissatisfaction in bed

* Lack of offspring

* social identification

* Vengeance

* Curiosity to try new things

* Financial crisis

* Getting along with a more adventurous    person

* Pursuit of career advancement, and the    list is endless.

 Some people argued that COVETOUSNESS and IMMATURITY are what lead most strayed couples to extramarital affairs, but this is debatable. In cases where we see religious leaders, executives at work, leaders of communities, states, countries romancing extramarital affair as a thing to be celebrated, it's a sign that no one is above the temptation of going beyond their marital limit. Achievements, position, and personality are vague when extramarital is mentioned, and this simply means, so many authorities have been caught in the act.

Regardless of the enormous reasons attached to extramarital affair, it's injurious to the emotion and health of those done against, and it is a menace that has the strength to jeopardize a society, because most homes have been shattered through the negligence of the perpetrators, and it has its hand on children affected. It could be lack of DISCPLINE, and unconsciously, it has side effects on their finances, emotions image, children, wives, husbands, jobs, career, and the society at large.

Extramarital affair is a form of getting pleasure in what our eyes see that lasts for a little period of time, but has adverse effect on the entirety of our lives. The vows made on the altar, at the registry, at your inlaws' house were not just rhymes, but some statements to be adhered to, and if broken has a lot to say about your personality.

How To Know If I Have Mouth Or Body Odor (Halitosis/ Bromhidrosis, Osmidrosis)

Often times, people living with halitosis and bromhidrosis ( mouth and body odor) as fondly called rarely know they are suffering from such conditions. They only notice that people put their faces off whenever they have one on one conversation with them, or they sit far from them while in a gathering. Most of these victims don't get aware because they help such people that keep their distance to attach excuses to their actions. Example; Maybe he saw something that caught his attention during our conversation,  or maybe he couldn't maintain eye contact.  In a case of a body odor victim, maybe the seat was not good enough, or he moved far to enjoy the comfort of the air conditioner. These and many more excuses are attached unconsciously by a victim.

In cases like this, the only truthful set of people are always the dentists and dermatologists. Do not be disappointed that your intimate friend or family members could be unhappy to tell you the truth, because they are often afraid to see you sad or afraid that your reaction might be unpleasant afterwards. Though some lucky ones have been told but due to self confidence in their level of hygiene, they debunk such truthful saying.

Bromhidrosis, osmidrosis or ozochrotia is a perceived smell our bodies can give when bacteria that live on the skin break down sweat into acid. According to research, sweat itself is almost odorless, but the interference of bacteria result in what we call body odor. Halitosis or bad breath is a perceived foul smell in the mouth which could be caused by the foods we eat and sometimes a sign of a chronic disease, or infection. Most times, oral, nasal and throat infection could tamper with the breath of victims, and same goes to body odor victims, diseases such as fungi and bacteria cause major chronic body offensive smell aside poor hygiene. Intakes such as garlic, coffee, cigarette and caffeine also go a long way in adding to a victim's predicament.

The safest prescriptive measure a victim of either of these two conditions should take is to see a dentist in the halitosis ( mouth odor) case, and visit a dermatologist in the bromhidrosis ( body odor) case. Everyone either bond or free should visit their hospitals often for check up, and we should make it a point of duty to politely tell the victims around us to visit their doctors. We cannot rule out the position of good personal hygiene. We should endeavour to brush twice daily, and avoid sugar gums and foods. A body odor victim should cultivate a habit of bathing everyday and after every rigorous exercise and also shave his or her pubic areas that could harbour germs, and wash their clothings very well (underwears and other body attachments). Antiperspirant and deodorant can help to manage the body smell, as well as plenty intake of water.

MOST CHALLENGES WE FACE CONCERNING OUR HEALTH, OUR AWARENESS/IGNORANCE DICTATE WHEN WE GET CURED OR HOW LONG THEY LINGER.

Ugly Men Desire Beautiful Women Too!

It always sounds so interesting when I listen to some qualities most men want to see in women. I have a feeling that women are so close to their screen anxious to read this little piece put together in the early hours of Tuesday, 7th November, 19:20 hours.

On a beautiful morning, I decided to embark on a journey from Lagos to Ekiti state, and fortunately I boarded a bus filled with relationship intellectual analysis tycoons. As we passed by RCCG camp a little, this unending relationship conversation started amongst three male friends that took the last seat. Though the bus made us a group, but I was a passive member who decided to  stay at her corner and listened to every bit of their conversation.

A man from the last seat was gutted about a post and retorted that he can't date a slim girl. He said; " I like fat girls because they can stand the test of sex without their legs shaking for hours". I smiled within me because I wondered why SEX is the major reason for his attraction to fat ladies. His friend didn't allow him to stop before he interfered, he said he likes slim ladies because they are better in bed and can be easily maneuvered. Hmmm! I sighed.

As those two kept dragging words with one another, the third friend dropped his own tip of the iceberg, " no woman can take it from a fair skinned lady". He prefers fair skinned ladies to dark skinned ladies.  An angry dark skinned lady gave a reply and said; " continue to follow people that sell fairness, whenever their cream finishes, you will know that black is beautiful". I laughed silently and my inner comment was; who will she defend if not ladies that have same complexion as hers. Come to think of it, only the fair skinned ones that bleach are mostly affected by cream inaccuracy in most cases.

The most deafening response just came from nowhere but from a passenger seated close to the bus driver.  He said and I quote; "I don't like ugly ladies o, I love beautiful ladies. If you're not beautiful, just don't come near me" Yes! Another blockbuster for ugly ladies. I sighed and I started ruminating over his comment, because I knew quite well those words came from a handsome man.

To calm the tension in the bus, an elderly woman intervened, she said; all facial qualities are good, but a woman with no moral has no good place. I looked at the woman, and sincerely, she's beautiful, so I knew sentiment of tucking morals in wasn't involved. The men started discussing about the moral aspect, but I was waiting for us to alight from the bus to see the handsome face of the man that detest ugly ladies so much.

When we got to Ekiti, I alighted immediately we got to the park and my first priority, I did. I looked into the man's face, but all I saw was a victim of pimples, a man I can't even describe his facial posture, but to keep staring. I was lucky that a cab man called my attention " aunty, drop" , that was when I woke up to reality. EVEN UGLY MEN DESIRE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! WHAT DO YOU DESIRE IN WOMEN?

No Free Lunch, Not Even in Freetown

#Dr JTF narrated his ordeal when he visited Freetown which is Sierra Leone's major urban, economic, financial, cultural, educational and political centre for the first time to discuss about Nigeria. He went with the notion that 'he who calls a meeting, lunch or a date picks up the bill', but unfortunately, his Freetown host whom they had the business lunch together showed him the fast rule of ' one man for himself'. They both paid for what was on their bill individually. Despite his gazes at the business man, he never felt compelled to pay for our dear Doctor, but he spelt out after the meeting when Dr JTF couldn't swallow his thoughts but to challenge him that; " Sorry Doctor that you had to learn it this way, but even though we are in Freetown, but there is no free lunch here. Everyone picks their bill when they go out for lunch whether on invitation or all alone".

In the business man's words, it was glaring he knew the attitude of Nigerians towards money. He made known to the Doctor that Nigerians are rich, and can afford to pay for lunch, breakfast or dinner for anyone, and the reverse is the case in Freetown, but I must oppose that most men in Nigeria these days are beginning to take a cue from the Freetown based on their approach to spending. A male friend once posted on his timeline on Facebook, he narrated how he had to make his girlfriend's friends pay for their orders, and how he was not apologetic about it.

Another encounter with a military man who said and I quote " Ladies do carry vex money in their pocket in case they get trashed by men". He asked me, " Am I right?" I nodded in agreement " Yes". Minutes after his statement, I stylishly checked my wallet if I had my ATM card in there before I get knocked out on the table. This is a lesson for any gender. Going out for lunch with a rich friend doesn't mean you should go out with your hands dangling, please have a backup cash! And to our ladies that are after freebies, we could be a victim of this one of these days, BECAUSE MEN HAVE STARTED DREAMING OF BIGGER THINGS THAN PAYING FOR UNINVITED GUESTS THAT STEAL THEIR MONEY AND ENDED UP NOT MAKING THEIR DATES WORTHWHILE.

MTN, GLO, 9mobile and any telecommunication company wouldn't give you "awoof" and not find a way to get back their tithe. A MAN WOULDN'T GIVE YOU A FREE RIDE AND NOT ASK FOR YOUR SERVICES " DIGIT", "FRIENDSHIP" or SOMETHING ELSE, SO, BE CAUTIOUS.

UNVEILING THE BOOK "EXITING YOUR RAT RACE"

An extract from "Exiting Your Rat Race"....

"You mean it's only these four people raising their hands that know this simple equation? I weep for you all. Everybody stand up now! If you know it sit down, if you don't, remain standing! You are in hot soup this afternoon. Everyone was shivering as Mrs Toriboabe ( the nickname she earned out of punishing students by ordering her victim to kneel down and then put his or her head in between her legs, so that there would be little or no resistance to the flogging) continued to pace up and down.

We were sure that she would flog us that day, fear could be clearly seen on the face of those who have experienced Mrs Toriboabe in the past. For once I regretted putting my chair and table in the front row because she would start the flogging from the front, but then, because I was so short in stature like the biblical Zachaeus, if i had put it at the back, our class teacher would have questioned me because I would not be able to see the chalkboard.  I dare not create a scene for questioning, my spoken English was worse than a chicken's scattering on the sand so the staff room was always a no-go area for us.

"NO MATTER HOW LONG WE CONTINUE TO ADVOCATE FOR ENTREPRENEURSHIP
, SOME PEOPLE ARE BENT ON PAID JOB, WEATHER THE TAKE HOME WOULD TAKE THEM HOME IS ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY."

I thought I had not heard well when Mrs Toriboabe said she would not flog us until Romoke took a sharp breath of relief. She feared being flogged than hell fire. Wouldn't it have been better if she flogged us? That would have been temporary pain but she decided to feed us words that would stick to us either as motivation or weight that would keep many of us down forever.  How I hate harsh abusive words, especially like hers which took the whole double periods. She was emotional about it, like Martin Luther King Jnr delivering his famous 'I have a dream speech'....."To get this famous book, contact these numbers;

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